"Growing Up" doesn't end at 18

   I'm not sure where to begin this morning.  I have had a couple hours to myself to really think about my life, past, present, and future.  When I think about my past it's not a pretty picture.  My childhood was pretty rough, but I don't have any anger or even negative feelings over the first 17 years of my life.  Sometimes people just don't have the best circumstances.  The anger and shame starts to seep in when I think about the decisions I have made since becoming an adult.  The bad examples I displayed in front of my 1 year old.  The crappy wife I was to my husband.  The alcohol I consumed in my body so often because I thought it was fun.  The kind of people I let myself get caught up in.  Why did I make such shitty decisions?  After everything I had been through with my own parents, why would I put myself on that kind of path to destruction?  I really don't know.  I don't think I will ever have an answer as to why I was constantly running away from my family to hang out with people who never cared one bit about me as a friend.  I know that God has forgiven me. I think it is always hardest for us to forgive ourselves.  So, I will say it, moving away from what I picture still as our home is the best possible thing we could have ever done.
   Let's skip ahead to the present.  I have such a beautiful life, even though there are times when I don't always recognize it.  I get so caught up in the little frustrations of my day.  My home is never completely clean, no matter how hard I try to get it that way.  My kids eat a lot of junk food, even when I attempt to force veggies down them.  My husband and I never, ever get alone time.  I think these are the things that most moms deal with from day to day.  I feel like I grow a little every day.  My children amaze me in the most unexpected ways.  My husband proves his love for me through so many small gestures.  I am growing in my Faith.  I may not be perfect, but I am sure not who I used to be, and that is an accomplishment all in itself.
    For our future, I want to be thankful ALL of the time, not just when things are going good in that moment.  I will pray more and complain less.  I will appreciate every moment I have with my children and husband, even when we are in the midst of total chaos.  And I hope that one day we will be able to make it back home to be close to our family and true friends.
Enjoy this day.

Oh Happy Day, the Baby is Better and Life is Good!

After a very stressful two days, the baby finally woke up with a smile this morning.  It was 3a.m. when his fever broke and he was ready to play, but I didn't mind.  I was both exhausted and incredibly relieved!  :)  I don't have much else to say this morning, other than I have the best husband.  Even when I am completely stressed out and feeling like I am on the verge of nervous breakdown, he stays calm.  I can be quite mean sometimes, and he just laughs at me, gives me a kiss, and says, "You know you love me."  And he's right, I do love him! So much!  My love for him has grown every day for the eight years we have been together, and it continues to grow.  I don't know what I would ever do without him.  Happy Hump Day Everybody!  I can see the weekend from here, and it is going to be So. Much. Fun.  Peace and Love and all that!

1 Peter 4:8                                                                                                                                           Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

 

 

 

Parent or Child...Which one am I again?

My coffee is strong this morning. I can't complain, I needed it to be stronger yesterday.  The baby spiked his first fever and it was not fun for either of us.  If today is going to be anything like yesterday, it will be loooong.  My older two made a mockery out of my home, due to me being preoccupied with a sick baby.  I am really going to have to stand my ground with them today.  Maybe I can get them to clean the house while I lay around and watch t.v.  I know, I will tell them it's opposites day, and I get to be the kid!  Think it will work?  I mean I obviously look young enough to play that role.  A man, probably around my age or younger, knocked on my front door yesterday.  When I answered, he asked, "Can I speak to your mom or dad?".   When I looked at him in complete surprise and said, "You're kidding, right?!", he seemed to be quite embarrassed.  He was wanting to make some extra cash by mowing the lawn.  Well, imagine his surprise when I told him that it's my husband's job, and that not only am I an adult, but a married one at that!  I made sure to tell him my age before he walked off.  He was so embarrassed by that point that all he could mutter was, "Good Luck."  Why do I need luck?  I must already have it if I look 10 years younger than what I am!  It was funny, but I kind of felt bad for him afterward.  I can't imagine being in his shoes, although most women would be flattered I'm sure.  I was simply shocked.  So, Cheers to looking 15!

This picture has nothing to do with the post today, but it sure is funny.  My three year old freaking out over an emu.....

Are we there yet?

Ah yes, that very annoying phrase was repeated over and over again yesterday, as we drove up to Huntsville, AL.  We decided last minute that it would be a fabulous idea to drive two hours to visit Harmony Park Safari.  We also didn't think to check the weather up there before we went.  There's nothing like being on the interstate driving when the wind is blowing so hard you think it might tip your van over.  Or like watching the dark clouds swirl around above your head.  I said a prayer though, and even though it rained a while, nothing more happened.  The safari was a lot of fun, in a strange kind of way.  We had all kinds of animals sticking their heads through the windows to get the bucket of food we bought before we entered the park.   I wasn't too crazy about the emus though.  My husband found it hilarious to roll down my window and then lock it so that I could not escape those crazy birds.  I didn't find it funny at the time.  I very much enjoyed all of the other animals though, and the kids did too.  My three year old drove us through the park as she sat on her daddy's lap.  She loved all of the ponies of course, but my favorite had to be the zebra!  His stripes were so pretty and he was really friendly.  My six year old son said he didn't have a favorite, but he did name every deer we fed Bambi.  All in all we had a really good time.  And even though the inside of our van is now covered in farm animal food, and the outside in mud, I would say it was worth it.  The best part was on the way home though, when we were in stand still traffic for over an hour.  Yes, I do mean stand still.  We had the car in park for so long that I was able to change and feed the baby, and pee in a cup.  Yes, I did have to go that bad.  We finally made it home by about 9pm last night and went straight to bed.
So, now it's Monday, and I have a very busy week ahead of me trying to get my house as clean as possible by Friday.  The in-laws will be here, but not the dreaded kind, they are the very welcomed kind!
In fact, I can't wait!

Quiet Sunday

I only have a couple things on my mind this morning.
1. I wouldn't mind going back to bed, but my little guys are NOT going to let that happen.
2. I hope Chelsea makes it on American Idol.
Chelsea Savage Vanscoder is one of my very best friends and she is an amazing singer.  Finally, after 10 years of encouragement from everybody she knows, she had decided to tryout for American Idol.  I am so excited for her.  You can read more about her and listen to her music here.
Well, that's pretty much it this morning, I have to change a diaper now. 
  
  Isaiah 40:31
Yet those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary.

                                     
                                          My very happy 6 month old at the park.    

                                 

Whoo Hoo!

Good Morning Folks. It looks like it is going to be a beautiful Saturday, perfect for trying out my new camera lens.  I have been doing my happy dance since last night, when my very wonderful husband decided to give me my birthday present early.  A Nikon AF-S Nikkor 35mm f/1.8G lens for my camera.  Finally, I can use something other than my kit lens to take photographs of my wild children!  Yes, they are unruly.  I spent 3 hours putting them in bed 32 times last night.  How in the world people get their kids to go to bed and stay in bed is beyond me.  Anyway, I am very much looking forward to this weekend of shooting and getting some good, family bonding in.  Happy Shooting Everyone!


 Practice shot with my new lens this morning of my early riser.  Low light, Indoor, No Flash.

Sleeping Kids = A Moment of Silence

Well, maybe not complete silence, I do own three Cockatiels.  Even with the birdie chirps, my house is as quiet as it gets.  I so enjoy mornings like these, when I can drink my coffee without my very adorable, yet persistent three year old begging me for one, little drink.  That one little drink usually turns into what is left in my cup.  I know you are probably thinking that I am an awful mother for letting my child drink caffeine, but I do milk it down quite a bit.  Plus, hey, I'm not perfect.  So, for now, I'm signing off, I hope everybody else thoroughly enjoys their coffee, tea, or whatever this morning.  I know I am.