Where should I begin....okay, I will just say it. I have experienced God today like never before.
As I stated in a previous blog, my husband and I moved away from our home state of Arkansas three years ago. It was very hard for me to leave all of our family and friends, but I have since then realized it was for the best at that time. I have grown and learned so much. Ever since we left, I have wanted so desperately to move back. You don't realize what you have until it's gone. Even though my mom and I have a lot of bumps in our relationship, I have come to miss her so much. I miss ALL of our family there. So, skip a little bit ahead, have a baby, move to Alabama, closer than Florida, but still a distance. We have been here for one year now, and I love it. It is such a beautiful state with so much to offer to residents and tourists. Outside of Birmingham is great location to be in. Four hours from the beach, three hours from Nashville, four hours from Memphis, and two and a half hours from Atlanta (which I love btw). However, I still miss our family, and our home. A few weeks ago I was having a challenging night and I told my husband that things would be so much easier if we lived close to family. Being the amazing husband that he is, he proceeded to search for jobs in Arkansas. He found an opening with a company that he has been trying to get in with for the past three years, and only had until midnight that night to submit his resume. What are the chances? A couple weeks later he received a phone call for a phone interview. We were both a little shocked. He gave his interview and they told him they would get back with him in about two weeks. For the past two and a half weeks I have been anxiously awaiting to hear back. Let me tell you, playing the waiting game sucks. I have had so many emotions every day. I finally realized that even if we stay here, it will be okay. It would be God's will and I need to let go of the ropes because I am not controlling anything, I am only trying to. So, this past Saturday before Mandy left, I activated my Faith as she called it. I said, I'm done worrying because I know that he will eventually get a job there, and even if it takes time, that will just be more time for us to enjoy Alabama. Yesterday Brian and I just enjoyed each other and the kids. We drove around in the rain while drinking coffee and laughed at the way people would make mad dashes to their cars after coming out of stores. Excuse me, we were not laughing at them, we were laughing WITH them. Okay, so maybe that wasn't nice, but we have all been there, running to our cars trying to avoid the rain as much as possible. Why? Because we don't want to get wet, it's a bit silly. Anyway, enough about that. Last night I started reading a book that Mandy left me. It is called Heaven, Close Encounters of the God Kind. I wasn't sure if I would like it or not, but decided to pick it up and give it a try. I read a little bit before going to sleep and decided that it would absolutely be a book that I would finish. I picked it back up today and spent about three hours straight reading. I kept telling myself I needed to put it down and get some things done, but I just couldn't. I was laughing and crying and all the while thinking, "why can't I experience this?" I was about half way through when I read one sentence that brought tears to my eyes. It said, "We told you the Lord would give you the desires of your heart." At that moment, my phone rang. Brian was calling me and I knew what he was going to tell me. He told me that he has just received a job offer for the job he interviewed for in Arkansas. We hung up shortly after since he is at work and couldn't really talk. I knew that was God. I began to shake as I called Mandy. What my body went through at that moment, I can't even explain. I felt fire inside of me, no it wasn't heartburn, it was the Holy Spirit. My knees buckled and I had to catch myself on my kitchen counter. My arms went completely numb and I felt like I could not breathe, but I could. It was not a panic attack, I have experienced those many times, and those are baaaad. This was not bad, it was amazing. I was a little scared, but after a few minutes my physical being returned to normal. It was like my spirit was being lifted up out of my flesh and my physical body could not handle it. Now, I know a lot of you are probably thinking that I am a little bit crazy and that this is no big deal. But it is a HUGE deal for me and it is just the beginning. I know God did this to really strengthen my faith. He did it to shake me to my core and say, "Hey, this is real and you are not alone!" I can't wait to finish this book. I can't wait to move home. I can't wait to really share this with my husband! I can't wait to have more experiences like this! That's it for now. :)
Luke 12:22-32
The Message (MSG)
He continued this subject with his disciples. "Don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or if the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your inner life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the ravens, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, carefree in the care of God. And you count far more.
25-28"Has anyone by fussing before the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? If fussing can't even do that, why fuss at all? Walk into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They don't fuss with their appearance—but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them. If God gives such attention to the wildflowers, most of them never even seen, don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you?
29-32"What I'm trying to do here is get you to relax, not be so preoccupied with getting so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep yourself in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Don't be afraid of missing out. You're my dearest friends! The Father wants to give you the very kingdom itself.
